What’s in a Name?

The new trend now is to give a boy’s name to a girl. I know somebody who is doing that to their baby. When I heard this it made me think about the King of the Hill episode “Uncool Customer” where the trendy lady Peggy meets has a girl named Michael. Their last baby’s name was somewhere between a spice and a Pokemon.

I was thinking about how much I hate my first name. My mom won’t admit it, but she gave me a trendy first name. The funny thing is that it’s hard for me to find personalized items; not because my name is unpopular or spelled differently. My name is so popular I can never really find any personalized items they are all sold out.

This was also a problem in school you know when you are like Amanda P. because there is another Amanda in your class; Amanda L. The worst scenario is when you and the kid with the same first name as you also has a last name that starts with letter as your last name. You know when the class has 2 kids that are John M. This happened to me before a girl with the same first name as me in my class also had a similar last name. It was so funny because they would always confuse us. Another problem is when they pass back work at school and the person passing t back neglects to read the whole name and you get back somebody else's work who has the same first name as you.

Has this happened to you? Somebody you don’t know yells “your” name in a crowed area and a whole bunch of people with the same name turn around.

Although my first name is incredibly common I have not had the opportunity to meet a celebrity with the same first name as mine. Most of the celebrities I’ve met have been male. It made me think about this quote from Seinfeld.

Jerry: "Check these out. These are Jerry Lewis' old cufflinks that he
actually wore in the movie Cinderfella. I got 'em at an auction."
George: "I got some cufflinks I could've loaned you."
Jerry: "No, Jerry Lewis is gonna be at this Friar's Club roast I'm goin' to
next week. Now I have an in to strike up a conversation with him."
George: "You already have an in. You have the same first name. Jerry."
Jerry: "Oh, that'll intrigue him."
George: "Well, it worked when I met George Peppard last week."
Jerry: "George Peppard has been dead for years."
George: "Well, whoever he was, he knew a lot about The A-Team."

Another problem I have with my name is that people constantly spell it incorrectly. My name does not have many spelling variations. My name is spelled the most common way. I’m more surprised when people spell it correctly.

Since I decided I’m not going to have kids here were the names I was going to give my potential children. Whoever is reading this blog feel free to use these baby names. For a boy I was going to name my baby Seth Holden. He would be named after Seth from The OC because he is my favorite character in the show plus I already have a few cousins who share first names with characters in the show. Holden was after Holden Caulfield from Catcher in the Rye. I love that book. I was thinking of giving the boy Holden as a first name, but I decided against it because it sounded “funny”. I decided to name my girl Burnadebt spelled this way, but pronounced like the name Bernadette. My mom and cousin thought this was a horrible name. I thought it was kind of cool. Until I realized all the ridicule the kid would get from having that name. I’m going to give those names to my dogs. I’d really like a coonhound or a pug.

I’m not Trying to be Like Shirley, Really.

I don’t want to have kids. I have come to this conscious decision when I was about 22. But my dad thinks I’m doing this because I want to be like Shirley because she said she does not want to have kids.

Myspace is one of the reasons I don’t want to have kids. I thought I don’t want to be an “old parent”. My definition of an “old parent” is somebody who has a kid over the age of 25. I mean a baby. I told myself if I didn’t have a kid by the time I was 25 I would not have any. I really don’t want to be tied down by kids. I’m restless and irresponsible. I know that, and I think I’m smart enough to not have kids for that reason.

My neighbor also played a big factor in this. When I was about 10 I had this really bratty neighbor who was about 4. That girl had such an attitude for a kid. I know a lot of people say I had an attitude problem as a kid, but this girl was horrible. She like wanted to be a teenager or something. She was very sassy; in a bad way. It made me think “I don’t want my kid to be like her”. A lot of people tell me that since I was a bratty kid I would have one brattier than me. I don’t want to chance that.

Maybe I really shouldn’t have kids because my mom had a dream that I abandoned my baby boy because I was getting a soda.

I’m 25 and I feel old. I know people who are reading this over the age of 25 probably think this is funny. Let’s see I’m unemployed and I live with my parents in my grandma’s old house. My life isn’t exactly on the upswing is it?

You know I’m like an old a lady now I don’t have any kids, and I feel like I’m too old now to have any. I don’t want to be one of those “old” parents birthing a kid a like 40. Not that I want any kids. If I never had any kids I would be happy. I don’t need them to make me happy. I’m so happy I’m out of the loop with a lot of my former classmates so nobody is asking me when I want to have kids. Why should I? I feel like Elaine in Seinfeld when her girlfriends tell that she has to move to the country and have a baby.

Too bad I'm not having a kid because then I could dress it in tacky punk rock baby clothes and Raider clothes. Nothing like a tacky dressed baby.