I’m not Trying to be Like Shirley, Really.

I don’t want to have kids. I have come to this conscious decision when I was about 22. But my dad thinks I’m doing this because I want to be like Shirley because she said she does not want to have kids.

Myspace is one of the reasons I don’t want to have kids. I thought I don’t want to be an “old parent”. My definition of an “old parent” is somebody who has a kid over the age of 25. I mean a baby. I told myself if I didn’t have a kid by the time I was 25 I would not have any. I really don’t want to be tied down by kids. I’m restless and irresponsible. I know that, and I think I’m smart enough to not have kids for that reason.

My neighbor also played a big factor in this. When I was about 10 I had this really bratty neighbor who was about 4. That girl had such an attitude for a kid. I know a lot of people say I had an attitude problem as a kid, but this girl was horrible. She like wanted to be a teenager or something. She was very sassy; in a bad way. It made me think “I don’t want my kid to be like her”. A lot of people tell me that since I was a bratty kid I would have one brattier than me. I don’t want to chance that.

Maybe I really shouldn’t have kids because my mom had a dream that I abandoned my baby boy because I was getting a soda.

I’m 25 and I feel old. I know people who are reading this over the age of 25 probably think this is funny. Let’s see I’m unemployed and I live with my parents in my grandma’s old house. My life isn’t exactly on the upswing is it?

You know I’m like an old a lady now I don’t have any kids, and I feel like I’m too old now to have any. I don’t want to be one of those “old” parents birthing a kid a like 40. Not that I want any kids. If I never had any kids I would be happy. I don’t need them to make me happy. I’m so happy I’m out of the loop with a lot of my former classmates so nobody is asking me when I want to have kids. Why should I? I feel like Elaine in Seinfeld when her girlfriends tell that she has to move to the country and have a baby.

Too bad I'm not having a kid because then I could dress it in tacky punk rock baby clothes and Raider clothes. Nothing like a tacky dressed baby.