Bad Presents from Grandma

Ok first off I want to say that my blond obsessed grandma is notorious for giving bad gifts. This is not just because I’m older now. She’s been giving bad gifts since I can remember. It’s not just as I’ve gotten older she use to give bad gifts when I was a kid. The problem with me was that my birthday was too close to Christmas. I don’t really see how it is so close. Christmas falls on the 25th of December, and birthday is on January 10th. You know I have a cousin who has a birthday closer to Christmas than mine. Anyway she would give my 3 cousins who are close in age to me (including the on whose birthday is in December) all the same gift for Christmas, and I would get something else. When it was my birthday I would get an identical or nearly identical gift to the one my cousins received for Christmas. How do I know this? My mother also thought this was unfair and asked my grandma why she did it, and my grandma told her about my birthday being too close to Christmas. It’s not like I can change my birthday. I know it came from my mom, but I trust what she told me.

The dolls; did I write about the dolls? I forget sometimes I tell that story so much. Back when I was really little like 4. Anyway my 3 cousins who are close in age to me and I received dolls. I can remember if any other granddaughters received them besides the 4 of us. Anyway my cousin who I mentioned before got the best doll; a blond bride doll. My grandma tired to cover it up and “claim” they were all story book characters, and that her doll was Cinderella. Her older sister was mad; she received a Little Red Riding Hood doll. I got a “Goldilocks” doll that was a brunette! I’m not sure how that works. That’s who my grandma claimed she was. I’m not exactly sure who she was perhaps Little Miss Muffet? The funny thing is in the picture of us with the dolls the 3 of us look pissed off.

Ridiculously small clothes this gets its own 2 paragraphs. I just want to say that I did the research and looked through my paper writings; I could not find the year that I got the tiny red sweater. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess 2008 which would have been Christmas 2007. I don’t know the end of 2007 through the beginning of 2008 was kind of messy I was preoccupied with a deteriorating friendship. Anyway my parents come back with the presents. My mom tells me she got a sweater. When I open my present I got one too. The sweater was really small and smelled like perfume. It wasn’t my grandma’s perfume or even my mom’s. It was eventually donated.

Recently I received from her 2 ridiculously small shirts. When I opened the bag I took them out and I was disappointed and laughing; laughing to hide my disappointment. They were size 7 juniors. I haven’t worn a size 7 juniors top since I was in 6th grade. I show them to my dad who coincidentally got a shirt that was too large for him. I showed them how small they were. He said they were too small to fit my other cousins who are around my age. My dad tells me that the shirts look like they could fit a 10 year old. The worst thing was there were no tags on the shirts. SHE TOOK THEM OFF! I COULDN’T EVEN RETURN THEM IF I WANTED TO! I mean even if she got them on clearance or whatever I could have taken them back to the store for credit or something. She knows I’m not a size 7 and haven’t been for years. I was “porking out” the last time I visited her. I think is a ploy by her to find out how fat I’ve gotten, and to be honest I wouldn’t put it past her ‘cause she’s like that. These shirts will probably be donated too.

Let’s what were some of the better presents she gave… the faux garnet jewelry, a bracelet, a back scrubbing sponge, my stuffed lion I named Van Go, a snowglobe, an Aladdin sweatshirt, a play cooking set. Um… that’s all I can think of off the top of my head.

I hate to quote Sally from a Charlie Brown but, “If it seems too complicated, make it easy on yourself: just send money. How about tens and twenties?” I wouldn't be stuck with ridiculously small clothes.

Free Day!

It's been a while since I had one. Not since last year. Ok ok lame joke right? I haven't had one since September. Not since my parents went to my grandma's house to get that junky Buick that belonged to my dad's dead uncle. Seriously I could write a long ranting blog about how junky that car is. But this is not the blog for that.

Since today is a free day I get a little excited because I don't know where to start or what to do. There are so many things. None of which involve chores or cleaning. I figure it's my time to "be lazy". I like being alone and having a house to myself. I like being alone; maybe that's an only child thing. It's fun to be a bachelorette for like a day.
Here are some of the things I did: sang "Why Do You Love Me" aloud, ate sweets for breakfast, decoupaged, watched Absolute Garbage, drank sweet strong tea, ate cheese, wrote in my diary, and trimmed my nails.

I invented a new sandwich a few days ago. It's a toasted cheese sandwich. Here's what you use. First you need some cheese spread. I used port wine flavor because that's what we had. First you toast the bread. Just used was what around, so I used plain white bread. Then I used the cheese spread instead of butter, margarine or cream cheese, and put the 2 pieces together. Maybe I should try one with aresol cheese.

I was thinking about working on my Halloween costume. It's never too early to plan, but then I thought I should start planning after my birthday. Perhaps if I start in January I will actually finish a costume. Something that I didn't hastily put together in 3 days.

I decided that I'd spurge in February and buy my self a little present. I do have something in mind. It's a secret until I buy it. ;)

For some reason I can't find any pictures online of the Sanrio character Roberta. She is a bear character. I had a picture of her, but I lost it when the hard drive broke.

I wanted to see how long it would be before I used the banned word. The "t-word". I was trying to think of a replacement word. First thought I could use the word "chirp", but then I remembered that is what the Boost Mobile phones do. Especilaly when ham eating pigs use them. It took me 2 days. 2 days! Damn! >:(

Since my dad went to my grandma's (his mom) visiting. I've written about her before. She is the one who conditioned my blond obsession. When he came back with the presents from her I was dreading what they were. She is notorious for giving bad gifts. This deserves it's own blog too. Well at least she didn't put her cat in a box a wrap it.

I was very disappointed by Cena's appearance at the Fiesta Bowl. I mean it was nice to see him and all. He got so little screen time. I was hoping they would interview him for the pregame show or something. I mean he has a football background. He could have even plugged Wrestlemania or something. He looked good though. He cleaned up well. He was dressed in a suit. I liked his tie. He looks so out of place in dressy clothes. I'm so use to seeing him in jean shorts and a t-shirt. I mean he's one of the few wrestlers who are exempt from the "suit rule"; The Undertaker is another one. The feed kept cutting off. My dad kept blaming it on Time Warner. I have no idea why; we get Fox OTA (over the air). He just has to complain about something he knows nothing about.

The funny thing was I had cheese at every meal. It was like that time I had bacon for every meal one day when we were in the process of moving.

Aside from the blog about the junky Buick and the blog about the horrible gifts my paternal grandmother gives. I have have material for a blog about those funnel cake sticks and a full review of that bear speaker pillow. Oh yeah and if you want to see some bad Mighty Morphin Power Rangers fan art or read some bad fan fics that I did between the ages of 9 though 11. I'll post them here if you want me to. Just leave me a comment.