Sugar

I don’t do illegal drugs. I’m a child of the 80s. You know The war on drugs, Just Say No, and all that stuff. Because if you do drugs you will end up being an addict immediately. Ok maybe I watched too many after school specials and anti drug shows as a kid. Although I do use caffeine which some people consider a “drug”, but I don’t really. You can chalk me up as being a “bad” person for that. Plus I drink soda, and I love gum.

You know if illegal drugs were personified pot would be a green punk lady, booze would be a hobo, cocaine would be like a female ghost, and tobacco would be a cowboy. You think I made this up? Or I did too many drugs? Oh screw that I’ll just get talked out of doing drugs by cartoon characters.

When I like to drown my sorrows in something I don’t use alcohol or cigarettes. I use sugar. I must admit I am a sugar addict. This is not code for anything. I love sweets. They are one of my weaknesses. I am very particular about what I eat though. I don’t just eat any old candy.

My favorite type of candy has to be gummis. I’ve been in love with that kind of candy since I was little. That was back during the gummi craze of the 80s. I don’t know if I could ever go vegan they can’t eat gummis because they contain cow’s foot. That’s what makes them gel like with gelatin. If I do ever become vegan I’m taking up smoking along with it. I don’t know if I have a favorite type/kind of gummi. I like peach rings, white gummi bears, pink watermelon flavored bears, cola bottles, hamburgers, pizza, hot dogs, and a lot more I can’t even think of.

It’s not all about the gummis for me. I also like chocolate. I bet if somebody made me a candy line up that wasn’t rigged with only Twix bars I bet I could distinguish them. As long as they didn’t put any kind of foreign candy I didn’t recognize. I love milk chocolate. I don’t really like white or dark. They have to be with the right flavor combinations. For example I love those white chocolate cookies and cream bar. I like dark chocolate with some kind of filling like in a Mounds bar.

I love hard candy too. You know like lollypops and stuff like that. If my mind wasn’t so warped by tv as a child. I can still recall the ring pop jingle from the 80s.
♪♫“It‘s a juicy jewel of flavor. Ring Pop! It‘s a lollypop without a stick!”♪♫
Come on everybody sing along! Don’t forget other candies like Blow Pops, Push Pops, and Tootsie Pops, Werther‘s Originals.

Let’s not forget caramel I love Royals, caramel apples, Kraft caramels, and of course caramel filled chocolates. Royals are so hard to find now. I liked the vanilla and orange ones. Who am I kidding? I like all the verities.

Oh yeah I almost forgot I have a great line for an anti drug PSA. “The only thing I smoke is meat”. Then there should be a shot of a kid in a smoke house with different types of meat.